I blame Jamie’s friend Diane, who said that biking around Stanley Park was a must-do. I blame Diane’s husband Mark, who sent me several emails asking if we had done it yet. I blame Jamie for listening to them. I blame the bicycle rental company that risked a lawsuit by taking my money and putting a helmet on my head.
For god’s sake, man, I haven’t ridden a bike in 40 years. Jamie probably hasn’t either.
Yes, the ride was on mostly flat ground. And, yes, the scenery was everything that was promised. Maybe even more. But anyone who knows me knows I have no ass. None. And, unfortunately, it is physically impossible to comfortably ride a bicycle 13.7 miles when you have no ass.
This was not a good idea. No matter how beautiful it was.
Early in the ride. My ass has not yet realized that it made a promise that will be very difficult to keep.
Mid-way through the ride we stopped at a beautiful little restaurant called the Tea House. We each had a glass of wine. I also had a glass of whine.
Note the expert manner in which we are able, toward the end of our ride, to mask our pain and pretend that we are having a delightful afternoon in the woods.
You’re not fooling anyone, Jimmy Boy. We had a fabulous time. Love you.
I’m so excited to follow you guys on this adventure. Your comments are so informative and hilarious. Have a great time.
Mark Fleming says
Diane and I didn’t recommend the bike ride for your enjoyment, Jim. It was for Jamie’s. 🙂
And we know you loved it, and that you just love to whine.
Maybe Segway in Toronto to let the buns heal. I’d like to see the training session and hear the stream of expletives from Jim learning to use one.
Hey Mr. and Mrs. Editor, looks like you are having a great time! Yes sir, I know all about the ass problem. I ride a 2002 Heritage and it takes all spring to get my butt used to the saddle after laying off during the winter.
Y’all have a wonderful time and please be carefull. I’m sure you will be hearing from all the ITHM crowd as you travel and I am looking forward to all the pics you are going to post.
Bruce Vernon says
Jane Mitchell says
Reading your blog I have noticed a couple of comments that can not possibly be true. #1 a reference to having known Jamie for 20 years.
#2 Jamie probably hasn’t ridden a bike in 40 years. Obviously these are both hyberbole since she can’t be a day over 27.
Have fun on your trip. We loved Vancouver and a train trip across Canada is on our bucket list.