The internet has driven thousands of small newspapers out of business and that’s truly a pity. They were the only source of local news for a lot of people. And they were also the source of news that was often unintentionally very funny.
Consider this brief article in the local Cook Islands newspaper. Check out the convicted criminal’s name:
Turuariki Staycool Club Manuela.
The only way to top that name would be if he had been a “Junior.”

Doesn’t get much better than that, does it??
Now we know where he was conceived.
You know, I think this would be a fitting middle name for you. You could be “Jim StayCool Club deYong.” Has a certain ring to it, yes?
I would need to be Jim “Getcool” before I could qualify as Jim “Staycool.”
We’re used to “unusual” names like that in Oz. Our “locals” revel in crazy make up names. My mother had a friend named Sunflower Earth Seagull. And she was actually white.