There’s a website called AFloridaMan.com that calls itself “A celebration of weird news from the Sunshine State” and features newspaper articles that include the phrase “A Florida man….” But I guarantee you that weird Florida news pales in comparison to weird news from the land down under.
Just consider three of my all-time favourite Aussie headlines.
“Spider bites Australian man on penis. Again.”
I would guess that the odds against being bitten once by a deadly red back spider are pretty high. The odds against being bitten on the penis must be insanely high. But, c’mon, the odds against being bitten on the penis TWICE by a deadly red back spider must be absolutely astronomical.
I’m not sure if this is a sign of how dangerous the animals are here in Australia or how careless Aussie men are. Maybe both.
Here’s another one of those crazy headlines:
”Woman kills husband and cooks him for his children.”
To her credit, she cooked a well-balanced meal that included a hearty helping of healthy veggies. She may have hated her mate, but was, in a very odd way, looking out for his orphaned children’s welfare.
And, finally, my all-time great Aussie headline is the world-famous:
”A dingo ate my baby.”
This true story went on for 32 years and was even turned into a major film starring Meryl Streep. The mother was convicted of murder and served time in prison before they finally found her baby’s blanket chewed up out in the middle of the outback.
Every time I run across one of these very odd stories, I send them to my Aussie friend Hamish with a note that says, “What is wrong with you people?”
He never responds.