While walking outside the Norwegian royal palace today I said something dumb and immediately started trying to correct myself. Jamie looked at me and said, “Diggin’ your hole out of a grave, are you?”
That’s what we call a “Robinson-ism”. Jamie’s late grandfather’s last name was Robinson and this mixing of metaphors and making up words and phrases seems to be genetic because at least three generations of Robinsons have been afflicted with it.
Some of Jamie’s are hilarious, others are mysterious, and some are just plain deep thoughts stumbled upon accidentally. Like these:
In attempting to say she didn’t trust something I was saying:
“There’s something rotten in Melville.”Explaining that she had to sign an agreement not to give any stock tips when she went to work for a major bond trading firm:
“I had to sign an ethnic clause.”Describing an effeminate server:
“Our waiter is gay as a kite.”And in a similar vein:
“What does it mean when they say someone’s ‘three as a queer dollar bill?’”As I was recovering from a lingering illness:
Jamie: How are you feeling?
Jim: Old and tired.
Jamie: You’re not old and tired. You’re young and viral. (Pauses, realizing that that’s not the correct word). No, that’s not right. I meant to say you’re young and vile.Referring to her initial opinion of Madonna:
“She’s just a flash in the pants.”Immediately after our first meeting someone who later became a very good friend:
Jim: Do you think he’s gay?
Jamie: No. He’s just Canadian.While watching Jeopardy:
Jamie: Isn’t he Canadian?
Jim: Who?
Jamie: Alex Quebec.While telling me that our cat was nearly a year old:
“Last year at this time Sydney was just a twinkle in her mama’s belly.”While telling me how intelligent dogs are:
“Dogs are smart. It’s just human nature.”While telling me how poor someone was:
“She doesn’t have a squat to piss in.”Describing the our wealthy neighbors’ new service elevator to the wine cellar:
“Look. They have a dumb bell waiter.”Explaining why the Lakers weren’t playing well early in the season:
“They’re just getting their feet warm.”Responding to me while I’m trailing behind as she races down the street:
Jim: Are you in a hurry?
Jamie: No, I just want to get there fast.While dining at a seafood restaurant:
“What kind of fish is in clam chowder?”In response to me telling her how to drive:
“Stop being a backstreet driver.”Thinking she had figured something out:
“I just had an epitome.”In reference to an unnecessary trip some business acquaintances were taking:
“Do they really need to go or is this just one of those Bullwinkles?”Describing a horrible odor:
“It smelled bad enough to knock over a train.”Suggesting that we should get a little exercise:
“We’ll just walk for half an hour, no matter how long it takes.”In saying that one of our cats is stupid:
“No one ever said he was the brightest tool in the shed.”In discussing Texas weather:
“Have you noticed that it usually gets hot when it gets warm?”
Unfortunately, she’s much more careful since I started my “Robinson-ism” file so her Robinson-isms are now far fewer and much farther between. And that, of course, means I treasure each of them more than ever.
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