Easter Island, Chile: What the hell is going on in this photo?

Yeah, I know we are supposed to gush about ancient cultures and believe they were all pure and unspoiled before the arrival of the evil Europeans.

But that brings up a question: Take a good look at this traditional wood carving and explain to me just exactly what that unspoiled Polynesian warrior is doing to that unspoiled chicken?

I believe it’s a felony in all fifty states and the District of Columbia. Well, maybe not in the District of Columbia because it’s full of politicians, but in the words of Joe Biden, “C’mon, man.”