We have a small guest house. It began its life as a garage, but decades ago some long-forgotten previous owner turned it into a guest house. We’re getting ready to turn it back into a garage.
Sadly, that will mean the end of what must be one of the strangest pieces of art in North Texas — the macabre monkey mural that graces the wall in the guest house bathroom. The simians have long, rope-like arms and white blobs instead of noses. If I had to guess, I’d say they’re half chimpanzee and half orangutan and while you’re at it, throw in another half alien.
Neighbors who’ve lived nearby through multiple owners of our home tell us that the monkeys have been staring down at bathers for decades. They’re like ancient pictographs because no one really knows their age nor their back story nor who their creators may have been.
I suggested that the monkeys might have some sort of historical significance or at least have some value as memorabilia, and that we should have them carefully removed, restored and framed for display in the house.
Jamie, who without my knowledge has apparently elevated herself to Family Art Critic & Decor Goddess, insists that she does not want the hideous creatures in her house. Nor in her guesthouse.
Her loss, I’d say.
But what the hell are these creatures? I spent some time googling ”long-armed simians” in an attempt to pin it down. Are they chimpanzees? Or maybe gibbons? Possibly siamangs (a type of ape I had never heard of until I googled ”long-armed simians)? Possibly orangutans?
What do you think?
UPDATE: June 2, 2023. Sadly, the long-armed simians have gone extinct. We’re remodeling the pool house and the bathroom was torn out. There was no way to save the mysterious monkeys.
More importantly, who has a garage with a bathroom????
Good lord, woman, in what kind of hovel do you live?